Earnest Eyes & Silent Stories
by CoffeeStaindBooks
Summary: Yume Yukimura, finally off of academic probation is moving onto her Senior Year at Karakura High. However family life isn't golden but rather black. With academics becoming a major part of her life, she eventually gets pulled under. New homeroom teacher, Kaien Shiba noticed the increase stress, poor attendance, and sleeping in classes. What could she be running from?
1. I: Day One

Earnest Eyes & Silent Stories

You said to come when you're ready, and I've been taking my time.

* * *

1: Day One

I woke up to the sound of arguing, I sighed and stared at the red LED clock that read 8:00am, my alarm wouldn't go off for another hour. I tossed and turned for about 10 minutes before I tossed my white sheets aside and sat up in bed. I sighed and stared down at the wooden floor of my bedroom.

I finally got up and grabbed my teal beach towel and my multi colored towel. I peeled my PJ's off of my body and wrapped myself in my teal towel and draped the multi colored towel over my right shoulder and opened my white door to the hallway. The arguing got louder and I rolled my eyes tuning it out, I went into the bathroom closing the door behind me quietly so they wouldn't hear me, not like they could. Turning on the light I ignored the mirror, knowing I looked like shit.

About 20 minutes later I got out of the warm shower, wrapped myself in a towel and left the bathroom. The arguing was over, my mother left for work at around 8:15am and my dad left to his job around 8:30am. I opened the door to my bedroom and closed it behind me. I turned on my laptop and plugged my iPhone into my laptop opening my iTunes, I went to artist, and then under the letter S, and found Sugarcult, I put it on shuffle and the first thing that played was 'Pretty Girl (The Way)' one of my favorite songs by them.

I looked in my closet and took out my uniform, grey skirt, a short sleeved white button down shirt, and a dark grey thin sweater. I sifted through my underwear draw and took out a white, black, and pink polka dot underwear, I put them on and stood in the mirror and sighed.

"Meh." I rolled my eyes and put on makeup, my cat eyeliner was thick like always, my mascara applied, and I dabbed a little bit of a pink lipstick on my lips. As I finished applying the makeup, I looked at the letter I had pinned to my closet door, it was from the Health Center, the only words that stuck out was 'overweight' I growled and sighed. The average girl who happened to be 5'3" needed to weigh anywhere between 104 to 127 pounds, but no I weighed in at 145. All things considered I feel like I wore the weight well, I grew up 'blessed' in the curve department, I had bigger breast than my older sisters, I wore a 42D bra or 42DD at times. My hips were always a little bigger and the same with my butt. My sisters were skinnier than myself.

"Whatever" I mumbled as I put on my uniform and went to brush my teeth. My phone started to ring, I went back to my room with the toothbrush still in my mouth.

The message was from Orihime, I opened it and read it.

_Morning Yume, Ichigo and I are walking to school together. We aren't dating, he just asked me this morning. You don't mind right? I'm still going to swing by your apt to pick you up like always. _

I shook my head and smiled before typing back: _I totally don't mind. I'm already finished getting ready, I woke up early. Ring the doorbell when you're out in front._

I rinsed out my mouth and realized the time was now 9:10am, I shut off my laptop and unplugged my laptop stuffing it in my bag. I looked at the numerous bracelets that sat on my desk next to my laptop. I put them on and heard the doorbell ring.

"Coming!" I shouted. I looked in the mirror and rubbed in some hair crème into my wavy shoulder length hair dark red hair. I took a hair tie with me and darted out of my room and down the wooden stairs that were covered into a black carpet. I ran toward the doors slipped on my lowcut black converse sneakers and grabbed my bag which was light, it only had my new sketchbook, my pencil case full of charcoal pencils, lead pencils, and markers, my schedule for the first semester of my Senior year of High School.

"Morning!" Orihime greeted me with a wide smile and a warm hug. "Here these are for you and your parents." Orihime handed me a bag of baked goods.

"Thank you so much." I walked back into the apartment and put them on the black counter top.

"No problem." She smiled.

I grabbed my keys and closed the door behind me as I went down the stairs of the apartment complex.

"Good to see you Yume." Ichigo smiled at me.

"You too." I nodded.

Orihime's hair had gotten longer, much longer, close to the arch of her back and she was definitely more confident.

We walked to Karakura High together, talking about what our summer vacations consisted of, none of us led really exciting lives. We had jobs outside of school to keep us busy and to bring in some extra cash.

We arrived at the front of the school and I somehow felt relieved. Being away from home and at some place to keep me busy made me feel better. The front lawn was filled with seniors, all of us were waiting for our homeroom to start. Seniors didn't start class until 10am, because by this point in Karakura high the only classes that needed to be completed were your senior classes, such Physics, Calculus, Political Science, and Literature. Most of us were already neck deep in college work because we signed up to talk general education courses over the summer and during our senior year.

"I'll see you in Literature, Yume." Orihime said as she charged forward.

"And I'll see you in Calculus." Ichigo smiled and went into the building after Orihime.

I nodded and put my overhead headphones on and started to listen to Circa Survive. I put on the album Juturna and listened to 'Stop the Fu*king Car' I walked through the sea of the other students and found my homeroom, my teacher had been changed for the second time in my four years here. I looked around the room and didn't see the new teacher, the room remained the same, six big wooden tables with grey top, it usually had four or five people to a table. I sat my bag on a random table in the back of the room and sat down on a random red chair. I studied the room, new posters dedicated to college announcements and deadlines for applications. I rested my head on the table and tapped my foot to the beat of the song.

_Don't stop talking to me, I haven't been listening._

_Don't stop talking to me, I haven't been listening._

_This operation's been abandoned once again._

_This operation's been abandoned once again._

_Cut me gently, cut me out..._

_Cut me gently, cut me out of mind._

I looked up and saw the class gathered around the tables, smiling at each other and talking. I rolled my eyes and just waited for the homeroom teacher to walk in. Just as I was going to switch to another song the new teacher walked in, I expected to see an elderly man maybe in his 40s or something, but in walked a youthful looking man, maybe in his early 20s, he stood about 6 feet tall, had spiky raven black hair, and aqua green eyes. He held a coffee in his hand with his name scribbled on the side. He wasn't dressed in fancy attire, but rather dark blue jeans, and a white button down shirt with a black tie.

"Welcome back." He quickly said with a smile. "I'm Kaien Shiba, a teacher in training. I'll be your homeroom teacher till graduation. And for a few of you, I'll also be your Literature teacher." He took a sip of his coffee and swallowed before speaking again. "I hate to do this to you all, but I need to learn your names, we can go around, tell me your name, and what you did this summer."

We went around the classroom and I still had a headphone in my ear, messing with my nails, I pouted at the chipping navy blue nail polish.

"I think we got everyone. No wait, you, in the back." I tensed up and kept my head down as I continued to mess with my nails. "Miss."

"Yume." I girl whispered to me, I looked up and sighed.

"Yume Yukimura, I worked this summer at a tattoo shop and I also took summer college courses." I shifted in my sit and crossed my legs. I met his green eyes and I felt my face get hot and I tried to play it cool.

"Nice of you to join us," he stated sarcastically. "remove your headphones."

I sighed and took off my headphones.

"Now, I know many of you only have one or two classes since it is your senior year, but make sure you attend those classes. I understand you may have other duties, but missing more than 4 classes will result in me calling home." The class groaned. "Hey settle down, I don't _want _to do it, but the school is forcing me to do it. So make life easier on us all and just attend class."

I ignored most of what was coming out of his mouth, I understood what needed to be done, get applications done, go to class, don't do stupid shit on campus. Blah, blah, blah. It was the same every year.

"My number is on the white board, if you need anything, I'm here." Kaien smiled and I looked up. "Class dismissed."

I quickly took note of his number on my phone and left the room without another word.

The day went by quickly, I found myself chatting with Orihime and Ichigo about the new teacher. Orihime was the only one who had the class with me, Ichigo took his literature credit earlier in his high school career.

"Well we have his class tomorrow, Thursday, and Friday. I'm actually excited to see him." Orihime giggled.

"Yeah, he actually has features similar to Ichigo." I said looking behind us at Ichigo who shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"I bet he's really handsome then." Orihime whispered in my ear, I giggled and nodded.

"He is, he's really nice. I mean I didn't really pay attention too much because it was just homeroom and I didn't even want to be there to begin with." I sighed. "I have so much college work to do."

"Really? What classes are you taking?" Orihime inquired.

"Art History, a Studio drawing class, and a Communications course." I sighed.

"Yuck, that's like 10 credits, are you gonna be okay? That's almost fulltime status." Orihime peered over.

"Hopefully, I mean I'm an art major so I'm gonna have to deal with it."

"Take it easy, remember you do have to graduate from Karakura." Ichigo chimed in.

"I know, I know. It's gonna be fine." I smiled shaking my head. "Look, I need to go. You guys enjoy the rest of the day."

I walked into my apartment, it was still silent. No one was home just yet, I organized my books and schedules according to classes. I took a deep breath, _I won't get overwhelmed. I won't._


	2. II: Assumptions

Earnest Eyes & Silent Stories

You said to come when you're ready, and I've been taking my time.

* * *

2: Assumptions

6:30am, the arguing began. It was now Mid October.

I growled. I've been so busy with college classes for the last month that I was starting to fall behind in my senior courses. I spent all last night in the studio trying to finish up my midterm art piece for the showcase. That had been the story of the last few days, causing me to miss a total of ten classes at Karakura, I missed four Lit classes that Mr. Shiba taught, four days of Physics, and a two days of Calculus.

I tossed and turned until I finally reached over to my nightstand turned off my alarm on my iPhone, put on sleeping mode, and put in ear plugs. One more day wouldn't be such a disaster. _It'll be fine._

I woke up for a second time at 11:23am, I took out the ear plugs and grabbed my phone. Six messages from Orihime and three from Ichigo. All of them asking why I wasn't answering the doorbell or my phone. I just sent them a group message about me being overwhelmed and sick.

I crawled out of bed and grabbed my towels and went to take a shower. I plugged in my iPhone into the iHome I had recently purchased and played Balance and Composure, like always.

A 20 minute shower woke me up, and I finally got out. Wrapped in a towel I took out today's clothes. While I wasn't going to class, I needed to actually get dressed. I put on a black pair of thick leggings, and a Navy short sleeved Balance and Composure shirt I got at the concert I attended during the summer, I put on a pair of white frilly socks and took my books downstairs. I made fresh tea and spread my books across the living room floor. I sat on the floor and started to look through my art history notes, knowing that my final is tomorrow.

…

I looked at the classroom starting to fill up, Orihime showed up but her friend Yume wasn't with her. I sighed heavily and took a sip of coffee from my cup. Everyone was here with the exception of Yume.

I went on with teaching, I told the class that today would be a work day for their essays due in three days about Frankenstein. This day would be the only day I would give them, it was their only day to ask me questions or have me review their paper. A few students came up to me asked for a honest review, they were all in great shape. I shouldn't be surprised though, this is an AP class.

The bell rang and I started to pack my stuff. "Orihime can I speak with you for a second?"

"Sure, what's up?" she smiled as she approached my desk.

The classroom was empty with the exception of just us. "Have you heard anything from Yume?"

"No, I haven't. I know she's been sick the past few days, but I know she is also stressed out due to stuff at home and college work."

"College work?" I echoed

"Yeah, she's been taking courses for her major to keep her busy and out of the house?" Orihime shrugged.

"Have you went to her house recently?" I asked curious as to why Yume wouldn't go home.

"No, she's always in the studio at Karakura College. Whenever I text her and ask if she wants to hangout, she tells me to go to the studio. She hates being home, from what I get."

"Why is that?"

Yume has always been the silent one in the classroom, never ask questions or even participates in class discussions. Her grades were great up until recently when she stopped going to class.

I studied Orihime, she played with the ends of her auburn hair, she was nervous, as she was thinking if she should tell me something. It was a habit she had, when she spoke to Kurosaki she would always nervously laugh and play with her hair. She was nervous he didn't like her. As a teacher you pick up on the quirks of the students you teach.

"Orihime if something is going on at home I have to know." I interrupted her train of thought and she shook her head.

"It's not like that!" Orihime quickly snapped out of it and quickly answer me. "Her parents don't get along really well and they always argue. Yume doesn't really talk about anything but, she always talks to Renji about it and he relays the information to me."

"Renji Abarai?" I questioned.

"He's a good friends with her." Orihime sighed.

He was in their graduating class, but he was always outside smoking, he seemed like a rebel, the kid that wouldn't graduate on time. But appearances are deceiving, the kid is actually very smart, top of his class at the end of their Junior year. Didn't think she'd hang out with _him. _

I sighed as I checked her address which was filed in my phone through the Blackboard app on my iPhone.

"I believe she is fine." Orhime chimed in trying to keep me positive.

"Doesn't change the fact that she has missed 10 days of school and 11 classes including today." I sighed. "Thank you Orihime."

She nodded and left the classroom without another word, I only taught that one class today. So I was free for the rest of the day. I neatly jotted down on a piece of paper that 'I will not be present for my Office Hours, instead email me with any questions.' I taped it to my door and locked it behind me.

…

The doorbell rang and I got up from the living room floor and walked to the front door.

"Who can that be? I didn't order anything." I looked through the peekhole and saw Mr. Shiba. "Fucking hell."

I took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Yume." He said with a small smile as he took his headphones out.

"Hey Mr. Shiba." I said running my left hand through my hair.

"Call me Kaien, can we talk?" he asked.

"Sure." I let him in and closed the door behind him. He wore a black jacket over a Navy blue button down shirt and dark wash denim jeans with black vans. The most relaxed dressed teacher I have ever seen.

"You know what this is about right?" he asked as he removed his jacket and turned to me.

"Yeah, missing class and stuff." I shrugged it off.

"Yeah, but your grades…" He trailed off.

"I'll get things done." I replied with a hint of annoyance in my voice as I went to clear off the living room floor. "You can take a seat." I motioned him to the living room.

"Thank you." He said with a heavy sigh.

I collected my papers and placed them neatly on the coffee table between us, he sat on the large black leather sofa and I sat on the black reclining chair on the other side of the coffee table.

…

The apartment was clean, white walls, a nice living room it reminded me of my own apartment a few blocks away from here. I looked down at the papers she sat down on the table, the most recent was an art history paper, she received a C, the exam underneath it peeked out and the grade showed, D. _She's having problems with college, that's understandable. _Right next to those papers was a flyer for the freshman art showcase, the date was coming up. October 21, 2014. Only two days from now.

"You're an art major?" I asked.

"Yeah. My showcase is coming up in the next few days." She shrugged it off.

"Your parents going?" I said motioning to the flyer on the table.

"No."

_Plain and simple._

"Why not?" I asked, confused. _Maybe they don't support her choice to be an art major._

"No time for me." She laughed it off. "Sorry."

_Bitterness. _

"How are your college courses going?" I changed the subject in order to get an answer out of her.

"Fine." She shrugged.

I sighed and crossed my legs.

"Do you want some tea or Coffee?" she asked shaking her head.

"No thank you." I answered.

"Why are you really here?" she asked as she got up and got her mug which sat on the other side of the living room.

"I'm worried. You've missed a lot of classes and actual days of school. I figured I'd check and see if everything is okay." I studied her, she shifted around in her seat. She wasn't wearing long sleeves, or her many bracelets she sports every day when she is at school. She noticed my gaze and immediately covered her arms.

"No need to worry, I'm gonna go tomorrow. I've been sick the last few days." She was quick to talk. My gaze shifted to her guard eyes.

"How many credit hours do you take at the college?" I looked at the pile of papers again.

"10." She shrugged it off, she was still guarded, hiding something.

"That's a lot. Seems like you would spend a lot of time at the college. In the studio and in the library. I remember basically living the library." I laughed trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, I don't like being home." She shrugged it off and took a sip of her tea.

"Why not?"

"My parents like to argue with each other. It's becoming a habit. Times it'll start at 8 in the damn morning and other times like today it will start at 6. It doesn't stop, so I get out of the house by doing work. It keeps me busy and me from doing stupid shit." She cursed. "Sorry."

"It's fine." I smiled. "What do you mean doing stupid things?"

She shifted in the large chair again and covered her arms, she looked down at her wrist, keeping silent. I bit down on my lip. _Do not make assumptions._

"Nothing." She finally answered. "If you don't mind, I need to study for my art history final."

_Guarded._

"Sure, if you need anything. I'm only a phone call away." I finally answered with a nod, I took a deep breath and put on my jacket before letting myself out.

_Don't make the assumption that is a large assumption that could break her trust. I need to ask around. _


	3. III: Friends & Honesty

Earnest Eyes & Silent Stories

You said to come when you're ready, and I've been taking my time.

* * *

3: Friends & Honesty

With Kaien's visit to my apartment, I decided to go to school. I could no longer avoid it even if I was tired. I texted Renji early in the morning, hoping to have him stop by my house before school started. I need to talk with him. Skipping breakfast, was starting to become a habit. I heard my doorbell as soon as I got out of the shower, I ran downstairs and opened the door for Renji in my towel.

"Wow, wasn't expecting this to be such a _great _morning." He leaned in and kissed my cheek, he smelled like vanilla and cigarettes.

"Haha. Funny." I rolled my eyes and pushed on his chest. "Make yourself at home, I need to get dressed."

I ran back upstairs and left my door open as I quickly got dressed in my room, putting on my makeup for the day. Hiding my dark circles from the lack of sleep with concealer, white eyeliner in the corner of my eyes to make it seem as if I was wide awake, I applied my normal thick cat eyeliner and put on a thick dark grey hoodie and went downstairs.

"So what's the deal?" I heard Renji call to me from downstairs.

"What do you mean?" I walked down the flight of carpeted stairs and peeked my head into the kitchen, he was eating an apple from the fruit basket.

"You haven't been in class the last few days, you haven't been texting anyone back, and that's just a few things." Renji looked at me, his red hair had gotten so much longer over the summer, probably longer than my own even in a ponytail it was longer than my own. He wore a dark purple headband to hide the tattoos on his forehead. His white uniform shirt slightly unbuttoned, showing me his chest, he wore the school sweatshirt, and the jacket over top of that.

"I died." I laughed rolling my eyes. "Kidding, I've been so stressed I made myself sick."

"You're taking a ton of classes, what did you expect?" Renji questioned.

"Look, it'll be fine. Tomorrow is my midterm art show, so after this I'll be doing explorations." I rolled my eyes as I grabbed my things.

"What about that exam you took yesterday? For history?"

"Art history?" I laughed bitterly. "I fucking failed. I hate that fucking class."

"What do you mean you failed?!" Renji snapped, his jaw would hit the floor if it was possible.

"I was kidding. I won't get the grade back till midterms are done. I hated that class so much. I'm just hoping for a C that way it counts towards my major and I don't need to retake it."

Renji sighed and finished his apple, trashing the core and shutting off my kitchen lights. "Come on."

"You didn't bring your bag?" I questioned.

"No need, I finished homework for my classes yesterday after school." Renji smiled.

'Smart ass." I shook my head as we made our way out of the apartment, I locked the door behind me.

"So how are things at home?" he asked me quietly as we walked down the shiny stone stairs that lead out of the apartment complex.

"Shitty." I sighed. "They argue about money, my father's drinking, and the whole lack of trust. I'm always stuck in the middle of it. I feel like I'm the only thing keeping them together." I let out a heavy sigh, Renji opened the glass door for me and lead me out. I was greeted with the cool Fall wind.

"What about sleeping? He asked as I he caught up to me.

"Non-existent." I sighed. "Last night I got about 3 to 4 hours of sleep. I'm tired as fuck." I groaned.

"Do you have any other place to crash?" Renji asked looking at me with his brown eyes.

I shrugged it off and kept walking. Renji was always willing to rescue me from my house, while he didn't grow up with parents like I did, he was always around my house during my junior year when the arguing began.

"Answer the question." Renji asked pulling me aside.

"No." I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Yeah you do, my doors are always open." Renji smiled.

I rolled my eyes and smiled. "Thank you."

Renji, we've been friends for awhile now. He's the only one I can really confide in. It's not like I cannot trust Ichigo or Orihime, I just don't have the bond with them like I do with Renji. We've shared laughs and tears, it's been an experience. _A friendship, that doesn't seem forced, or troublesome, it's just comfortable._

…

I watched as she entered the school building, I leaned against the stone wall entrance to Karakura High, I took out a cigarette and lit it, bringing it to my lips. I looked at the cloudy grey sky, before I new it the cigarette was just burning away. I put it out and threw out the butt.

"Abarai." I heard someone call, I looked to my right and saw Mr. Shiba, the newest addition to the list of teachers here at Karakura.

"Yeah." I breathed.

"I have a few questions about Yume." He told me, his eyes showed curiosity and concern.

"I'm not family." I answered.

"I know that, Inoue told me you guys were close so I figured I could come to you. Have you noticed anything strange in her behavior?"

"What do you mean strange? Yume has always been hard headed and the quiet type." I sighed and turned my back to him. "Look, I'm not the best person to be answering your questions sir."

"You know what is going on in her house more than any of her other friends." He sighed loudly. "It's obviously not just her course work but something else. I cannot get in contact with her parents and I've have my assumptions about her. I don't want to believe those assumptions."

I quickly turned around. "What assumptions?"

"She's been isolating herself, not going to class. I understand she is stressed out, but being stressed doesn't lead to isolation."

_Isolation…not answering phone calls, text, and even the door. _I snapped out of that train wreck of thoughts.

"If you haven't spoken to Yume about it I suggest you do so. I'm her friend, yeah she confides in me, but that does not give me the right to tell her personal life to others. I respect her. If you find out that something bad is happening than I'll think about changing my mind."

"Abarai if things are bad at home you know I need to inform my superiors, right?"

"Nothing bad is going on at home." I swallowed hard.

"Thank you Abarai." he gave a piece of paper with his number scribbled on it. "Give me a call if you find out anything."

With that he was out of my sight.

…

"Thanks for letting me sleep over Renji." I smiled as he took my duffle bag from my hands.

"No problem. My little sister is probably around here somewhere, so you should go hunt for her-" Renji was cut off by his younger sister hugging him.

"You're back Renji!" she cheered with a smile.

"Yeah, and look I bought over my friend." Renji smiled and motioned over to me.

"You're really pretty! I'm Rei." She smiled.

"Oh no, you are beautiful. Look at that smile." I smiled and shook my head.

She was about 7 years old, dark red hair, shoulder length, and a side part. She was dressed in hello kitty pjs and skipping around the apartment.

"Hey punk, it's time for bed." I heard Renji call.

"But I don't wanna, you have a pretty friend over!" she whined.

"You can talk to her tomorrow when you get back from school." Renji laughed.

"Pinky promise?" Rei pouted.

"Yeah." Rei jumped into Renji's arms and he picked her up and put her on his right shoulder. "You could go shower while I put this punk to bed. You remember where everything is at right?"

I nodded and he walked down the hall and into a guest bedroom. I looked around the one floor apartment, he has furniture but it felt empty. It was just like my own. No matter how much I filled the apartment with paintings, it always felt empty. I went down the hall and grabbed a two dark red towel from the closet. I went into the bathroom which was a few doors down from the bedrooms.

I took off my clothes and started a warm shower, I washed myself and I looked down at my shaky hands. I slid down the wall and sat on the floor on the shower wanting to cry.

_When will things get better? When will my parents stop arguing? When will I finally get a grip?_

I let the warm water fall on my body for about 5 minutes before getting up. I finished up the shower, sniffling as I shut off the water. I dried myself off, brushed my teeth, and finally left the bathroom. I saw Renji was sitting on the black sofa in the living on his phone.

"My aunt bought her over because she apparently missed me a lot." Renji smiled looking over at me. "She's asleep in the guest bedroom. So you can take my room."

"No it's fine, I can take the sofa. Unless you want to share, like we did years ago." I blushed bringing up the suggestion. Renji smirked.

"Okay, that'll work. I'll shower and meet you in the room." He smiled and went into the bathroom, I heard the shower start.

I walked down the dimly lit hallway, my feet cold against the wooden floor. I opened the door and turned on the lights. I saw my duffle bag on the floor, I dug through it and found my underwear, a t shirt and a pair of black shorts. I put on the clothes and dried my hair, once that was done I took my phone from his glass computer desk and laid in his bed. Cool to the touch, I moved around the bed till I felt comfortable. I browsed through Tumblr. A few minutes later, the door opened and closed. I peered over the mountain of quilts and sheets I had over me.

"Comfortable?" Renji laughed.

"Yeah." I smiled. Renji shut off his bedroom light. Leaving little light in the room, the street light block by the blinds in the window and the dark red curtain which covered the windows. I turned on my flashlight from my phone to light his way.

"I know where my bed in." he laughed.

"Fine, I hope you trip." I turned off my light and soon felt him fall into the bed.

"Fuck." He cursed as she picked himself up and found his way under the sheets.

I laughed and he groaned. It was silent, I was still on my phone. I check if I had any text or phone calls, but the icons showed no notifications. I sighed and locked my phone putting in on the floor side table. I felt Renji rub my right shoulder. I let out a low moan of approval, I shifted over to my stomach and Renji got up on the bed and rubbed both shoulders.

"Hm." I heard, I felt his fingers touch the scarred over skin on my shoulders.

"Hm?" I questioned.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I heard him ask as he stopped, his hands trailing down my arms to my wrist.

I stood quiet. _  
_

"You cut yourself?" He pushed.

I yawned. "I'm gonna go to bed."

"Cut this dodgy shit. I'm serious." I heard him growl looking at me.

"Yeah." I said as I faced him, my eyes adjusted to the darkness. I could see him lift his hands to his face, he rubbed his face and sighed heavily staring at the ceiling.

"How long?" he asked.

"A few years."

"Fuck." He sighed. "Are you?"

"No. At least I don't think so."

"Fuck." I looked at him and closed my eyes. I felt his arms around me, he bought me close to him. I could smell his minty breath and his Axe Body wash. I stared at him and swallowed hard.


	4. IV: A Reason to Trust

4: A Reason to Trust

From the day she was born, he gave this beautiful gift a reason not to trust.

* * *

I tossed and turned in bed, the sunlight barely shining through the curtain. I peered over to see Yume still asleep in my bed. She was complete out, if I listened closely I could hear her breathing. I got out of bed, because I was unable to go back to bed, unable to rest my eyes, or ease my racing thoughts. I quietly closed the door, I went down the hall and peered into the guest room. Rei was still asleep snoring like a little car. I closed the door and sat in the kitchen. I stared at my cell phone in my hand.

My thoughts racing: _Should I? Or shouldn't I? What will happen? What will he do? Will she hate me? If I leave things unsaid and something were to happen, I'll be to blame. She isn't that far down the hole. But she's on the edge, so far on the edge she's willing to take a blade to her wrist to her skin. She tears her skin apart for what? To feel alive? To feel in control? Control? Her life is the only thing she controls. Will she take it that far? How far is she willing to go to feel in control? WHY!? Why didn't she say anything?! WHY!? _

"Fuck!" I cursed under my breath. My left hand in my loose hair and my right hand on my phone. I scrolled through the text messages I had gotten from Yume, trying to read between the lines. Trying to see if I missed something. Trying to see if she was calling out to me but I didn't hear her.

_Will she hate me? _

I looked in my jacket pocket that was draped over my chair and found Kaien's number.

_Do I pretend that last night didn't happen? Do I just let it go? _

I dialed his number and just stared at the numbers blankly. My stomach was in knots. My thoughts bringing up images I didn't want to see, her wrist bleeding while she's lying on the floor in a locked bathroom. I could hear myself yelling for her to open up, for her to let me in. But it was too late, her eyes were closed.

I swallowed hard and hit 'call' it started to ring as I held it up to my right ear.

"Abarai, what can I help you with?" I heard his voice on the other side of the phone.

"It's about Yume. Last night, she slept over my house, and I found out the answers to your questions." I swallowed hard before letting the words come out, my mouth dry. "She's cutting herself, her wrist and her shoulders."

There was silence. It seemed like it lasted for hours, before he broke the silence.

"Are you sure?" he asked, I could hear the disbelief in his voice.

"Yeah."

"Alright. I'll talk to her today." He said. "Thank you, Abarai. I wish it wasn't like this."

"Yeah." I hung up and rested my head on the cold table top.

"Are you alright? You weren't in bed." I heard her walk over to me and took my hand. "Come back to bed."

"I have to take Rei to school." I halfway lied.

"Oh okay." She halfway smiled as she let go of my hand.

"I want the best for you." I said.

"Renji did you smoke?" she giggled.

"I'm not high." I protested. "Just…being honest."

She looked puzzled. "Thank you for looking out for me." She smiled. I nodded and watched her walk back to the room.

_I memorized that smiling, knowing it would be weeks, maybes months till I see it again. She'll hate every fiber of my being, knowing that I ratted her out. I made her a promise, to keep her secrets, but this secret was too much to keep. _

…

Sitting in Kaien's class had started to fall asleep, my paper was done and ready to hand in. Orihime elbowed me and caused me to wake up.

"Crap. Sorry. I'm up." I said blinking a few times to make sure I'm up.

"It's fine. How did you manage to finish the paper?" Orihime asked.

"I might not have been in class, but I do know how to write a basic paper."

"You bullshitted didn't you?" she looked at me.

"No, I read the book." I answered honestly.

"I was kidding." She giggled. "You have anything after this?"

"No, I'm done for the day. Why?"

"Wanna hang out?" she asked with a cheery smile.

"Sure." I nodded.

"Well I have a meeting with the college advisor. You can come with if you want."

"Sure." I looked over at Kaien who looking at me, during this whole class even before I fell asleep.

Heard the bell ring, I got up and took my ten page paper about Frankenstein off the table to hand into Kaien. I put on my backpack and walked behind Orihime, the room was empty and we were always the last people out of the classroom.

"Thank you ladies." He smiled.

We nodded and I could feel something was wrong, something was fake and forced about that smile. I tried to quickly exit the room.

"Yume, can you stay back?" I heard him call.

"I have to go with Orihime to the College Office." I answered.

"It's okay, I'll meet you back here. If you finish early you can meet me." She smiled.

"Oh okay." I said. "Fuck." I bit my bottom lip. I tried to relax. I could feel my heart racing. I turned to see Kaien, who gave me a soft and sad smile, he walked over to me and closed the door. I swallowed hard. "Fuck." I mumbled.

"Take a seat."

I did as I was told and sat my bag on the floor next to me. I stared at the black table top as I heard him walking over to me. In the corner of my eyes I saw his black vans and black jeans come into view. He sat in the red chair next to me.

"Yume, are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah." I lied my heart still racing.

He sighed. "How are things at home?"

"Fine." I lied.

…

_Lies._ I want to give her the chance to tell me the truth. But wasn't going to happen.

"Yume. Can you expand on that?" I asked her.

"Things are peachy keen, my parents still arguing, I get tons of sleep."

_Sarcasm._

"Yume please." I begged.

"Why am I here? What do you want to hear?" she said staring at the floor, gripping the rims of her gray uniform skirt.

_Scared._

I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes thinking about my next move. But I couldn't predict the future. What she would say, how she would fact, those were all blurred out. I opened my eyes and saw her dark red hair covering her face.

"Are you cutting yourself?" I asked.

I could hear and audible gasp, her grip on her skirt tighten, her body posture stiffen. I could see her shaking.

_I'm sorry._

"Can I see?" I asked reaching out to hold her hands, which still gripped her skirt so tightly.

"Who told you?" she cried.

"I'm sorry." I said swallowing hard, her dark green eyes made contact with mine for just a brief second. I reached over to her and hugged her tightly, my heart started to hurt the more I realized how this beautiful young girl was hurt so much. She cried. I pulled away and she sniffled as she took off her bracelets. Each arm had to have about 15 bracelets each, many of them were band bracelets, some friendship bracelets, and one black charm bracelet. The scars eventually started to peak through. I stopped her and took her hands in mine.

"Please. Please. Please. Don't tell." She begged.

"I have to." I said.

"NO, please! Kaien please." She begged me, gripping my hands firmly.

I hugged her close to my chest. I was already breaking the rules, student and teachers weren't allowed to have relationships. But Yume, made my heart do flips.

"Please." She begged again.

"You have nowhere to go. I need to tell your family and my superiors."

"No." she begged.

"Yume understand that the fact you cut is dangerous. You may want control, but realize if you ever have a shitter day than all the other days you have cut and you want to indulge and you accidental cut too deep." I shuttered at the thoughts of it.

"I won't!" she cried.

"I care for you, I want the best for you, and I want you to get better."

"I can! Don't do it. I don't want to go back!"

I looked at her arms and saw the vertical cuts.

"You were on suicide watch." I said aloud. "Why do you want to end your life?"

"Because!" she cried. "I'm tired! Tired of being ignored by my parents, tired of feeling irrelevant. Tired of feeling like I'm not enough for them. It's all about money. About my father's drinking, my father this, my father that. I feel like shit. I was used, hurt, and tried to ignore those feelings, of being broken. But there is only so much I can ignore till I break."

"How long has it been?" I asked.

"I was released a few weeks ago. I was there overnight."

I hugged her close and kissed her head.

"I didn't want to live anymore."

"What changed that?" I asked her.

"I remembered the messages you sent me, to keep my head up, to talk to you if anything were to happen. That you would come over if I needed help. I didn't even tell you what was happening."

"But I picked up on it."

"I felt like someone cared. Everyone else accepted my lies."

"But I knew you were lying. You avoid eye contact with me when you lie. Your voice shakes and you play with your bracelets." I listed off her quirks.

"Thank you." She said.

I kissed her forehead again, through her tears she looked up at me and I wiped away her tears with my thumb. I leaned in to kiss her lips. I felt her close the distance between us and kissed me. I found my face getting hot, I felt her pull away.

"Do what you need to." I heard her say.

"If you promise to stop, or try. I'll take that. If you relapse, I'm going to make the call."


	5. V: Car Crash

Earnest Eyes & Silent Stories

_That moment, three seconds of uncertainty. _

_Dividers followed by six seconds of nervous prayer, nervous cursing, nervous something._

_- Car Crash by Hotel Books_

* * *

5: Car Crash

"Why? Why did you tell him?" I snapped pushing him as hard as I could, but he did not budge. In fact he just stood there apologizing for telling Kaien.

"I had to." He told me.

"No, you didn't have to. No. You had no right. It's my business if I want to tear my skin open."

Renji's had tilted to the left, confused, but then he shook his head.

"_I _had no right? What if you killed yourself? What if you decided to down a bottle of pills? What if shit decided to go sour and you couldn't find a way to cope? WHAT THEN!? Was I supposed to stand there and watch? Watch as the cuts get deeper, as my friend kills herself? Was I supposed to watch? Tell me? If you were in my position what would _you _have done?"

Something in Renji snapped, he hated the idea of suicide. In his eyes, there was always a different way out. In his words, _never take the easy way, because there is always something more to life._

"I would have said something." I mumbled.

"I thought so, so what makes me suddenly in the wrong for doing the right thing?" he asked, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Because I'm tired. I don't…I don't want to fight anymore." I choked out.

"You aren't alone, you know that right?" his facial expression softened, he wasn't angry anymore.

…

Dead of night, I sneaked out of bed and went to the bathroom, my head ringing with Renji's words. 3am, Renji had just gone to bed around 2am. Class started in about 7 hours. I went through my makeup bag and inside I found a small box with my razors. My heart debated with my mind if I should indulge, my mind made me think of who would find out, Renji and Kaien. I looked at my phone, the emergency contacts, Kaien's number showed up with his smiling face as my icon for him. I washed my face trying not to cry, trying to wash away the urge.

It worked, it may have taken me a few minutes, but the urge went away. I walked back to the bedroom crawling back into bed, Renji's arm wrapped around me and I felt safe in his arms but not my own mind.

...

The final bell rang and my head shot up, I yawned silently and looked around the classroom empty. My eyes met Kaien's, he shook his head and walked up to me. My eyes shifted to the door and it was closed. I immediately rested my head on my arms again in order to avoid eye contact. I felt the sharp pain jolt from my arm, I inhaled sharply and swallowed hard.

"Morning sunshine." He said sarcastically.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep." I said bringing my head back up.

"You need to stay awake for class. How are you sleeping outside of class?" he asked me.

I shrugged and shifted in the seat, my heart racing nervous even though my arms were covered by the school uniform sweatshirt.

"What does that mean?" Kaien joked.

"Alright I guess."

I felt Kaien's hand cover mine, my face grew hot. It's only been a week since our relationship begun. We weren't dating, but we've been seeing each other outside of class. We kept it secret because he was still my teacher.

"Can we talk about the situation?" my heart raced knowing what he was talking about, I mentally cursed myself.

"Why? We spoke about it last week? It's fine." I got up and slipped my hand out of his. Fixed my hair quickly and looked away from him. My words quickly escaping my lips, I needed to get out of here.

"Yume." He said my name as he got up. "I'm just worried. Okay?"

"I need to go." I tried to walk past him but he took my hand.

"Are you okay?" he asked, noticing my haste, my abnormal behavior.

"Peachy fucking keen." I said slipping my hand out of his as I walked out of his room. I quickly went down the right hallway, tearing threatening to fall. I ran down the three flights of stairs before finally exiting the building, the campus empty. I looked at my phone 1pm, Renji wouldn't be home for about an hour. I dialed my mother's number.

"Hey sweetie how are you?"

"I'm fine." I lied.

"How is Renji? Are things good over there?" her voice sounded worried.

"Yeah. How about home?"

"Dad is sick." She picked her words carefully.

"With what?" I asked as I walked to Renji's apartment.

"We caught it early but still." Her voice cracked.

The silence was drawn out, I was already outside of the apartment.

"He has Cancer." She said cried.

"What?" I said in disbelief, I felt scared, hurt, I felt tears streaming down my face.

"I need to go. We are a couple of towns over. I'll keep you updated."

My heart dropped, I closed the door tightly behind me. Locking it. My eyes watery, I went to the bathroom. Opening my makeup bag, my box of razors, I held the blade in my hand. _Cancer. Cancer. No. NO. _I wanted to deny everything. With each word, I tore at my skin_. This cannot be real. This has to be a sick nightmare. No._ Each cut stung. I had lost count. And what's even scarier, I lost control.

…

Opening the locked door to my apartment, I saw Yume's stuff lying on the ground right in front of the door.

"Yo! Yume what's up with your crap on the floor?" I yelled.

No reply. I sighed and picked up her black bookbag and placed it on the sofa, my book and new pack of cigarettes on the coffee table.

"Yume?" I shouted again.

I listened closely, I peered into the room thinking she was asleep, knowing she tossed and turned in her sleep last night, maybe she wanted to take a nap.

"Yume are you home?" I yelled again, this time my voice grew louder. I took my phone out of my pocket and quickly called her.

"So give me all your poison. And give me all your pills. And give me all your hopeless hearts. And make me ill. You're running after something that you'll never kill. If this is what you want. Then fire at will." Her ringtone Thanks for the Venom by My Chemical Romance grew louder, she was in the bathroom. I pushed open the door and felt my heart drop, blood, so much blood. I grabbed a towel and covered her arms that were covered in scars from her wrist to the crook of her arm, both arms covered. Fuck.

"Hey, Yume." I said looking at her, she looked at me drained. "Hold on okay."

I called 911, making the dreadful call. Before I knew it she was being carried away. I rode in the back of the ambulance with her.

I sat outside her room, my head in my hands, I hoped she would be okay. I didn't call anyone. Not yet.

The hours crept by, 7pm, 8pm, 9pm, 10pm. Finally an answer.

"Are you her brother?" a nurse asked as she exited her room.

I nodded and stood up. At this moment a white lie wouldn't matter.

"She's stable at the moment, you can go in if you want." She smiled. "It was tough. But she pulled through just fine."

"Thank you." I said with a soft smile.

I entered her room, and saw her laying in the white hospital bed. She looked at me and looked away.

"Why?" the question, the word, was pushed out of my mouth.

"My dad. He has cancer and I thought it was some sick fucking nightmare. But no. It's real."

"I'm sorry."

_What else do you say in a moment like this? You don't control faith, you don't control, life or death, what more is there to say than I'm sorry. _


	6. VI: Importance

Earnest Eyes & Silent Stories

6: Importance

A week later and I was out of the hospital, I was left over night for five days, each day longer than the last. Being in the Mental Ward you have no contact with the outside world, while it felt nice the first day, I was left alone with the thoughts each and every day. I didn't have anyone to vent to, not even a shoulder to lean on.

Arriving back at my apartment, I felt my stomach drop, my parents still a few towns over. Renji took my hand and tried to cheer me up, he handed my dead iPhone over to me. I plugged the charger into the wall and then other end into my phone. I gave it a few minutes to charge and in the meantime Renji tried to get me to eat. I shook my head, I felt like if I ate I would vomit. I was in that stage were nothing felt real, I felt like I was in some sort of nightmare, something I had to overcome before waking up. My phone lit up, text messages from Orihime and Ichigo, Renji peered over my shoulder.

"I didn't tell them. They were persistent, in the end I just said you caught the flu."

I nodded and saw a message from Kaien, I clicked the text message:

_Hey Yume, I was wondering if you were okay, you weren't in school and you phone went straight to voicemail. Message me back when you get the chance, you don't need to call, just message me, so long as I know you're okay._

"I didn't tell Kaien either, then again I didn't see him when I was actually in school.'

I scrolled down to the next blue iMessage I had gotten from him.

_Yume, is everything okay? I tried calling home, but no response. I was told by the Dean that I should visit your home since it was your second time taking days off in a row like that. It's been about 5 days, so I dropped by, but no one appeared to be home. _

_ I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I'm starting to think you didn't keep your side of the deal. I don't want to tell the dean, but it appears like you aren't giving me a choice. If I don't get a reply by Monday, and I don't see you in class I will tell the Dean and we will have a talk about this, whether you want to or not. _

My eyes widen, I swallowed hard, but my mouth felt dry, breathing was becoming harder.

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down. It's gonna be okay." Renji rushed over to me from the other half of the kitchen and rubbed my back. He hugged me and rubbed my back. I wanted to cry, but the tears didn't come. I eventually started to calm down, and checked my phone, the white letters said it was Sunday 7pm. I opened my messages and typed to Kaien as quickly as I could.

_Sorry, I was really sick. I caught the flu and I was bed ridden. I apologize. I'm feeling better, I will be attending class tomorrow. Sorry sir. _

"What happened?" Renji questioned.

"Kaien, since I couldn't have my phone he texted me, asking me if I was okay. It was only two messages but the last one was more of a threat, he said if I don't contact him by Monday he's going to tell the Dean I cut myself. I messaged him back and told him I'm going tomorrow."

"But the nurse said to give yourself the day off." Renji protested.

"I don't care. I'm not going to let him tell the Dean. That's the last thing I need right now."

I was pacing the kitchen at this point, nervous scared that all of this was going down.

"Or you could let him tell the Dean, so you could get the help you need." Renji mumbled.

"Are you crazy? You cannot be serious Renji. It's enough he knows about it! I don't need anyone else to know about it."

Renji didn't respond, I shook my head.

"Let's go back to my place." He finally said.

I nodded and gathered clothes to take with me to his apartment.

I spent the night at his place, I couldn't sleep so I spent the night in the living room, scrolling through my messages on my phone, rereading Kaien's text messages, trying not to scare myself. I hadn't gotten a reply to my last message and that didn't help. The hours ticked by and I found myself drifting in and out of sleep.

…

"Are you sure you are going to be okay?" Renji asked walking me to my last class. "You look like shit."

"Haha. Fuck you." I growled.

"Look, you don't need to stay for the class, I'll just tell him you aren't feeling well."

"It's fine. It's fine. " I said, all of it a lie, I was tired and ready to sleep.

"Here I bought this for you." Renji went through the black plastic bag he had gotten from the store and took out a can of Monster.

"Thank you." I gave him a weak smile and hugged him. "I don't tell you this enough, but thank you. Truly. Thank you for everything you have done for me. I know I'm annoying and a pain in the ass, and I know I worry the fuck out of you, but thank you for dealing with me."

"What are best friends for?" he said with a smile. "You were there for me when shit was rough at him, when my parents had a messy divorce. You always gave me a safe place to be."

I smiled and looked down the off white tiled floor.

"Look, I have to go. I'll meet you in at the front gate when class is over." Renji started to walk away.

"Wait!" I said, my voice shaky, nervous to walk into class, people started to pour into the room, as the bell rang.

"What?" he replied, he walked back and tilted his head like a confused puppy. I tippy toed and kissed his cheek.

"I'll see you later." I gave a weak smile as he chuckled and faded into the crowd of other teens.

I saw Kaien walk by me and I felt my stomach do flips, I opened the can of Monster, trying to chug it down before class began. I walked in with my head down in order to avert the gazes of my classmates, I took the seat all the way in the back, and Orihime sat next to me. She gave me a questioning look, but I waved it off and told her 'later' to which she nodded and looked ahead.

I tried to pay attention in class but I felt my heart race every time Kaien looked over at me, he would swallow hard when he looked at me, as if he wanted to drop everything and talk to me. I kept my gaze down for a long period of class time, I doodled in my notebook. Eventually he let go some students, so that they could work on their papers in the lab, but most of them skipped class. Orihime was one of them to be let go, she got up and smiled at me, placing a note on the corner of my table as she left the room. I opened the note and read it:

_Hey Yume,_

_I know things have been pretty rough on you, being sick and out of school for almost a week. But I'm glad your back. You don't look to good now, but how about we hang out during lunch so we can finally catch up._

_I folded the note and placed it in my notebook. I felt my phone vibrate in my lap, I looked down and saw my 'mommy' flashing on my phone. I got up from my seat and walked out of the classroom._

"Yume!" I heard Kaien shout.

I went into the stairwell, closing the heavy dark green door behind me. I went to the back staircase and I picked up the phone.

"Hey Mommy." I said trying to sound okay.

"Hi sweetie, how are you?" she asked, she sounded tired.

I shifted with the ends of my sleeves and finally replied. "I'm okay. How is daddy?"

"He's alright. Do you want to talk to him?" she asked.

"Yeah." I said trying to remain calm.

"Hey sweetie."

"Are you okay? What did the doctors say?"

"They caught it just in time, they can treat it. It's just going to take some time is all."

I started to cry, this whole week, I have been crying. When I was in the Mental Ward I cried myself to sleep thinking about my dad. Thinking that I was a shit daughter because I couldn't be there for him while both of my sisters were able to go over there.

"Stop crying. I'm going to be okay." I heard him say, a smile in his voice.

"I'm so sorry I can't be there." I cried.

"Don't worry about it sweetie. Come up when you have the chance."

"But."

"No buts. Your education is important." He told me, I started crying even more. I tried to conceal my tears and the fact I wanted to scream in frustration. "Come on stop being a dork, I told you I'm going to be okay!"

"Okay daddy." I said stopping myself from crying.

"I'm going to put your mother back on. Be strong sweetie, I'll be okay. I swear."

"I love you daddy." I said holding back tears.

"I love you too baby." He handed over the phone to my mother.

"Hey, it'll be okay Yume. When you get a break from school I'll have one of your sisters pick you up. I need to go sweetie, I love you."

"I love you too."

I hung up the phone and felt the tears start streaming down my face. _I don't know why I'm crying, he said he would be okay. I should be happy. Then why can't I stop crying?_

It took be a few minutes to finally stop, I took a couple of deep breathes before finally working up the courage to leave the stairwell. I swallowed hard and walked back into the classroom. The room was empty, Kaien wasn't even there. I bit my bottom lip and walked to my seat. I started to pack my things until I saw a light blue post-it on my notebook:

I'll be back around 2:35, don't leave. – Kaien.

I checked my iPhone and saw the time was 2:30pm. I rolled my eyes, stuffing my books into my bag, I picked up my bag.

_I can't do this. I really can't do this. _

I took my phone out of my sweater pocket and went to text Kaien as I left the room.

_Kaien, I can't talk right now. I need to go to class. _

"Planning to leave?" I heard a deep voice ask.

I jumped, my phone fell out of my hand and onto the tiled floor. I swallowed hard and felt him look at me, a smile faded from his lips.

"Crap." I quickly picked up my phone and stuffed it back into my pocket.

I heard his phone go off, the tone was the original text tone the iPhone comes with. I swallowed hard.

"Take a seat." He said.

I stood standing as he walked by me, the smell of coffee and vanilla penetrating my nose. I hid my hands in the black sleeves of this oversized cardigan Renji had given me.

"You don't have class, so why lie?" I heard him ask.

My hair covered my eyes as I looked at the ground, my back toward him. I played with the ends of my now long dark red hair, twirling it between my fingers.

"Yume?" I heard him say, I felt his big hand take my hand.

"Why would you do that?" I asked.

"Do you what?" I heard him ask.

"Don't play coy with me! Why threaten to tell the Dean?"

"Because she was asking, why your attendance was so poor. I couldn't just lie to her Yume! Where were you?" he asked.

"I was sick." I answered looking at him.

"You weren't in your apartment and nobody was at Renji's apartment when I stopped by." Kaien folded his arms. "Where were you?"

I felt my stomach tighten. "In the hospital." His grip tighten on my hand.

"You didn't." he said.

"I did. I was scared. Scared because my father was diagnosed with cancer and I couldn't do anything. I wasn't home, I was with Renji because I couldn't be in that fucking house when all I heard was constant yelling. I had to find out through a phone call that my father was in a fucking hospital bed and waiting for the doctors to see if he'll live. I was scared that I would lose my own father. I did what seemed rational."

Kaien took ahold of both of my hands, tears started to form.

"Are you-" I cut Kaien off.

"I'm fine. I was in the Mental Ward for five days, which is why I couldn't pick up the phone because they take it away."

"I'm sorry." I heard Kaien say. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm fine."

I wasn't sure if I was lying or telling the truth anymore.

I felt Kaien's arms wrap around me, he pulled away from me and looked at me.

"I didn't know. I had to stick to my job as your teacher. I apologize I added more pressure on you."

I wrapped my arms around him and held onto him, I felt the tears start falling. I pulled away from Kaien, I looked up at him.

"Don't cry." He said with a smile. I smiled and looked down, placing my stuff on the table.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry about worrying you. I just…" I sighed and leaned against the white wall.

"It's fine. As long as you're okay. I'm not going to tell the dean, this has become a personal problem for you and your family to deal with. But know that I'm here." He said as he got closer to me, he rubbed my cheek with the thumb of his right hand. "I don't want you to go through this alone."

My heart started to race, his face was close to mine, I wanted to feel his warm, coffee flavored lips against mine. I closed the distance between us and kissed him. His arms wrapped around me once again.

My sense of guilt kicked in. _He's a teacher, he could get in trouble. I pulled away and placed my hands on his chest._

"Kaien…we can't keep doing this." I told him."Your job is more important." I found myself saying.

I felt his lips meet mine again but only for a little bit, he pulled away, our lips barely touching. "I'll decide what is more important and right now you're more important to me. I care about your wellbeing, and I think you're beautiful. But if you want me to stop I will." He completely pulled away from and sighed.

"I'm sorry."

Kaien nodded. "No, I understand. Please message me if you need anything. I'll come over if you need me to."

I smiled and nodded. "Bye." I grabbed my bag and left the classroom walking down the hallway quickly I saw Renji leaving the math classroom.

"Hey short stuff, ready to go?" I heard him ask, he was obviously in a good mood.

"Yeah." I nodded. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I looked back and saw Kaien looking at me, I saw him let out a heavy sigh, he studied Renji and I before walking back inside his room, the door slamming behind him. I swallowed hard.

_I'm sorry._


End file.
